In Cairo, we enter into love stories like in a bar

This article is included in the “Valentine’s Day File”.

in his book Why we love – the nature and chemistry of love it’s called Helen Fisher The beginning of the fall in love and the fascination for the other “obsessive love” or “flamboyant love” which changes the chemistry of the spirit and makes the loved one, the object of desire, a unique and unknown person , and the lover is afflicted with longing, whether he tries to approach or to escape.

This fiery energy that brings joy to the soul can at any time transform into pain and turmoil. If separation is required, for example, Fisher says the lover first goes through a stage of shock and disbelief during which he harbors some hope and makes plans. to obtain the beloved, and when he is lost, Comes the second stage, which is despair and submission to grief.

Perhaps what Helen Fisher says “scientifically” about love is what poets and lovers have sung about over time. One of Egypt’s great Sufi singers, Sheikh Ahmed Al-Tuni, staggered as he sang “All hearts reach out to the Beloved.” His voice shook and sang with tears as he recognized deep inside that: “Love witnessed in the beginning, my brother, and in the end the venom of serpents is little. Love witnessed in the beginning , my brother, at the end.” God’s sword is drawn. “We have in the tales of the pre-Islamic poets an example of sickness and annihilation because of love.

In an article titled “Valentine’s Day in Egypt, a reading of religious and cultural controversy”, Finnish anthropologist Samuli Schelke discusses the complexities surrounding love in Egypt today, where stories based on romantic passion fail. often, either because of the beliefs that reign over women. By being disrespectful because they agreed to engage in unresolved emotional quarrels, or because of the poor financial conditions of young people who would be rejected if they made a formal move.

Schelke believes that the Arabic story about love makes it impossible, demands sacrifice, and that the torment of the loved one is an essential part of its composition. But it seems that the idea of ​​impossible love or fatal passion for loved ones is not limited to Arab heritage, since European love stories such as “Romeo and Juliet” have immortalized the same torment. . But Arabs carry a culture that celebrates repression more than others, as they are naturally inclined towards symbolism, and expressing their feelings through discourse encoded by metonymy, metaphor and metaphor.

Cinematic love stories have become an impossible dream, taming the minds of young people behind screens. Despite the complexities of modernity, which have imposed a general tendency to revere individualism, accompanied by the fear of the idea of ​​unity, as if everyone yearns for love and is unable to touch it.

This culture, which has begun to fade today with the opening offered by the Internet, where cinematographic love stories have become an impossible dream, tampering with the minds of young people from behind the screens. Despite the complexities of modernity, which have imposed a general tendency to revere individualism, accompanied by the fear of the idea of ​​unity, as if everyone yearns for love and is unable to touch it.

“Reham” -a pseudonym- describes herself as carrying anti-marriage genes that she inherited from her uncles. She says, “But my uncles are men, and it’s acceptable in society. Men don’t marry, but being a woman is against marriage.” and try to get your independence. It’s a crime people can’t stand here. “. Nevertheless, she is a romantic person who believes in love that changes people and in the desire to possess the loved one and to surrender to those comforting emotions. She says that she was the originator of the love story, and when she met her lover, she wanted to live life like in the movies, so she treated him with the logic of a dangerous woman who controls the relationship, without regard for the image that may appear on her. She says: “I believe that pain created love, so I deliberately hurt it and left it, to mature it. But their relationship soon became an obsession .

For his part, her lover appears as an ordinary person who risks getting lost in the crowd, an “oriental man”, the son of his community, who would like to embark on countless adventures before marrying the raw and naive girl. who doesn’t know anything about love and sex, but he fell for Reham Dawn’s trap.

At first he saw that her audacity and her acceptance to have sex with him meant that she was an easy and notorious woman, so he tried to control her on the one hand, and on the other hand he enters into a series of relationships with other women so he could ditch her, but each time he met a new woman, Reham took root in his heart and occupied his mind even more. Sometimes he even tends to believe what his mother says that Reham “worked magic on him to bring the beloved”, but with each parting and hint that she would leave him, he forgets the logic of his mother and comes back to her humble and asks for forgiveness: “I’m running away from you all the time.”

The Arabic story about love makes it impossible, requires sacrifices and the torment of the loved one is an essential part of its composition.

The story is reminiscent of the heroes of romantic novels, but it takes place here in the heart of Cairo for two ordinary people who have nothing to do with the world of art or literature. Reham says: “I don’t know what happened to me. I was an obedient daughter to my mother and wanted to get married to get rid of her pressure on me, but suddenly I got tired of everything, like my demon came when I loved and was completely changed. I would love to experience this story with someone else who appreciates the blessing of love.” He respects my difference and my strangeness, but I liked a superficial person, who loves and doesn’t realize what love means. We are now separated because of his betrayal of me. And I know this love will kill us both.

Asmaa – a pseudonym – is a famous painter who has been married twice. She says: “The first time, I didn’t love my husband, so I didn’t suffer from the separation as much as I hurt myself, and the second time I loved my husband because he looked like me. and that he was an artist like me. I longed to settle down and start a small family, and I believe in eternal love and sharing life with one person until the end of life. I even neglected my work and my art, and devoted myself to it completely. I saw my success through him, and the result was that he suddenly left me and broke my heart. I knew he loved another woman, and he left that in My soul is a stinging wound to my femininity The cruellest thing that can happen in a person’s life is to be replaced as if they weren’t worth nothing.

I suffered from shock and depression, and had to take a drug that would turn me into a motionless corpse. I was confined to my bed for days, without thinking, without eating, without wanting anything, when I decided to throw these drugs in the trash and get back to painting.

I also addicted to reading the Tarot to find out what fate had in store for me, and to predict when he will return, when he will leave the other woman, and what is the nature of his feelings for being away from me? And all these readings comforted me and promised me a meeting soon, which really happened: my ex-husband came back a year after our separation, when his new wife gave birth to him, and he said what men usually say, that he regretted the most and that he didn’t love a woman other than me. But I couldn’t resist my love for him and forgave him, arguing of course that he couldn’t leave his wife now that she was born, and that I had to play mistress to the unfaithful husband.

We used to wait for any opportunity to meet, to meet at his house, who was at my house one day, when his wife was visiting his family, and we met at his studio sometimes, we only travel together a day or two. Our return was filled with a passion that I, his wife, did not feel. I waited a long time for him to leave the other woman, but that didn’t happen, and when I started to ask him about the fate of our relationship, he pleaded and evaded, until to disappear from my life again.

Omar smiled with calm bitterness: “Do you know that studies have proven that the body is affected by the separation of a loved one as it is affected by the death of a loved one?

Omar, a young 30-something who just got out of a relationship with a woman ten years his senior, says he entered the relationship as if he were walking into a bar for fun, adventure or the fantasy of having an older wife. than him… “But I fell in love with her, and I didn’t know that I loved her, I realized that when we broke up, there’s no going back.”

Omar recounts moments of love he thought only existed in movies:

“She was a strange woman, kissing me and reading me poetry while crying, and I was amazed at what she was doing and attached to her day in and day out, and maybe I loved her because I wanted a second mother, but I hurt her when I made her feel like she didn’t deserve my love, and she left with no real ability to leave. It’s better that we part ways now, because in the end, this relationship is doomed, because I have to look for a suitable partner partner, and all the criteria I want are not met in this woman. It’s like an obsession that controls me, even when I look now i see it, when i sleep i dream about it, i tried so hard to cry to get it out of my heart, but so far i can’t give in to crying, i shed tears simple ones that dried up quickly I know I’m gonna hurt for a while but it needs to go The pain and the memories will fade one day.

Unlike Omar, Khaled remained in a story of love and marriage that lasted more than five years He says a woman is hurt once, but abandonment remains a deep wound in masculinity that does not heal . He says his wife left him due to difficult financial circumstances and she married another person and left their daughter to her mother to raise. In an attempt to hold her back and dissuade her from her decision, he told her he was willing to go to the Gulf for work, but she humiliatingly turned him down:

“The last time I met her, I hugged her and I didn’t want to let her go. I was crying while she was crying, and all you said was hi. turned away from me and hit her with the pen. I felt ashamed and defeated, because I didn’t know how to protect my family. I work, I was just watching her all the time, and when I knew that she was going to marry another, I wanted revenge on her. I see her tormented forever.

* The article expresses the point of view of the author and not necessarily the opinion of Raseef22

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